Roger Gets His Man

With top-notch timing Roger Federer FINALLY got to grips with Rafa Nadal on a clay court. "I have cracked the code," said a delighted Roger after beating 'the Beast' in 3 sets in Hamburg. And with Roland Garros the next tourny up, he couldn't have found the key at a better time.



Our favourite Swiss won 2-6 6-2 6-0 to take his fourth Hamburg title and end Nadal's record run of 81 straight wins on clay. "To come through is excellent, I played fantastic, and I really got the feeling in the end I had figured out how to play him," said the Fed Express.

Rog is known for being a gentleman and is well respected amongst his peers but you can sense that he really doesn't like Nadal. Of course, the losing often will be part of it, but I think it's something deeper. I think Rog just doesn't like the whole Nadal style and gets frustrated that he loses to such a blatant hacker. Most especially, the whole quarter of an hour thing between points, really winds him up and one does wish that the refs (or umpires) would hurry the Spaniard up. He takes an age to adjust all his bits and is constantly picking his shorts out of his arse. A match with Nadal takes 4 hours even if he wins love and love.

Anyway, Roland Garros is the focus now and this result has cast an element of doubt over the second Grand Slam of the year, as Federer has proved Nadal is not invincible on clay. With the forecast set for clouds and rain this should also help Federer since the arenas will play less like Mallorcan sun-baked courts and we should see more skiddy balls negating the brutal top spin Mr Muscles likes to put on his balls - or should I say shots.

Fingers X-ed then. Allons-Y Les Gars!

Spain vs England UEFA U17 Final

Just finished watching the final of the UEFA U17 Cup Final. Spain won 1-0. Probably deserved but there wasn't much in it. If anything, Spain deserved it most for being the most positive. Not in the sense of positive play - both teams tried to attack and play good football. No, positive in the sense of general attitude.

Now, I know we are dealing with 15/16 year olds here, and that with all those hormones raging it's a period in a young mans' life where sulking and depression is the norm, but come on chaps. You've made it to the final of the UEFA Cup. You're considered one of the best players in your country, with luck you have a pro football career ahead of you and, most importantly of all, you get to wear the glorious white shirt with lion rampant. You could smile a bit. Look a bit excited. The Spanish chaps were (and I mean before they lifted the cup). But, with the exception of our excellent left-back (sorry dude, didn't catch your name), our players were all surly, aggressive, frowning and with heads constantly bowed. They had the whingeing to the ref bit perfected. They spat a lot. They sauntered around casually for throw-ins and free-kicks. They were, in short, 'always cool man', 'looking for respek', 'not wanting to be dissed innit'.

What a bunch of tossers.

Lads, lads, lads, you need to cheer up a bit. The psychology is all wrong and needs to be fixed. Remind yourselves that you made the finals of the UEFA Cup, which is a great achievement. You have great futures ahead of you with Ferraris and groupies and international travel and 'loads of respek innit. Liberate yourselves and your football will be even better. Uncle Soren can show you the way - and my fee is most reasonable. Drop me a line and I'll give you the existential psycho-cure.